Summer Boundaries For Teachers Who Need Joy 300

Summer break can look long on the calendar and still feel like you’re carrying school on your back. We’re talking honestly about why so many teachers start June exhausted and then spend the rest of the break “prepping” instead of recovering and feeling joy. If you’ve ever treated staying late as proof you care, or opened your laptop on a holiday because anxiety wouldn’t let you rest, this conversation will feel uncomfortably familiar in the best way. 

We unpack what boundaries really mean for educators: not vague self care, but specific decisions about what will not cross the line anymore. That includes work boundaries you can practise in summer and keep all year, like setting a true no work window, using a simple brain dump notebook so ideas don’t hijack your downtime, and building systems that protect your evenings. We also get practical about grading and feedback, sharing smarter ways to check learning at school so “no grading at home” becomes possible, not just aspirational. 

Then we hit the big ones that drive teacher burnout and work-life balance issues: staying hours past contract time, saying yes to every committee and club, and the always-on pressure of school email. We make the case for deleting school email from your personal phone, not only for your peace of mind, but also to reduce stress, distraction, and unnecessary risk. We end by naming one boundary you can adopt immediately and take into the next school year. 

If this helps, subscribe for more teacher boundaries and burnout recovery strategies, share the episode with a coworker who needs permission to log off, and leave a review so more tired teachers can find us. What boundary are you committing to this week?

June Reading Comprehension 2nd Grade | Summer Reading Passages & Questions

Perfect for end-of-year learning, summer school, or preventing summer learning loss, these short, engaging reading passages help students continue to practice comprehension skills.

Transcript

Why Summer Still Feels Exhausting

SPEAKER_01 0:00

A lot of teachers enter summer exhausted and then accidentally spend the whole break trying to earn rest instead of actually experiencing it. So last week I talked about uh being allowed to put teaching down for a minute. Well, this week I'm going to do a fun little replay about how terrific teachers set boundaries over the summer. Welcome to One Tired Teacher. This is Trina Debory, and I hope you stick around.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Welcome to One Tired Teacher. And even though she may need a nap, this teacher is ready to wake up and speak her truth about the trials and treasures of teaching. Here she is, wide awake. Wait, she's not asleep right now, is she? She is awake, right? Okay. From Trina Debori Teaching and Learning, your host, Trina Debori.

SPEAKER_01 0:59

Hey, so we're going to. When your summer doesn't need to become like unpaid curriculum season, or you feel like, hey, I deserve some joy too, you absolutely do. So we're going to listen to an oldie but a goodie and it's going to be fun.

Sponsor And End Of Year Support

SPEAKER_01 1:18

Hey, so before we jump into the show, I want to let you know that this episode is being sponsored by my end of the year camp bundle. So if you're dreading the end of the year and the hustle and bustle, and there's just so much to do and such little time, not anymore do you have to worry about that, my friend, because your end-of-the-year activities have never been more engaging, time-producing for teachers, and just plain awesome for kids. So you can grab this end-of-the-year camp-themed week-long unit. It's a bundle with my camp stem included. So keep teaching until the end while giving yourself time to get everything done at school. This bundle includes both the print and the digital camp unit. So you can save on copies, and that's great news, or you can just print whatever way you choose. And also my 10 camp themed STEM challenges, all in one resource for more than 30% discounted. Be sure to open up the preview, check it out, see what's inside, and you're, I think you're gonna love it. This bundle includes a digital imprint and STEM challenges, end of the year camping days activities bundle. Camp end of the year is a great way to send your students off for the summer. And I think that you're gonna absolutely love it. So it'll save you time, it'll keep your kids engaged, it'll make sure that kids are still working and they're still learning, they're still thinking, and they're busy while you get to kind of scoot off to the side and do what you need to do. You can find this on my shop in TPT at Trina Debory Teaching and Learning, and it's the end of the year camp bundle. All right, let's get on with the show. So

Why Boundaries Start In Summer

SPEAKER_01 3:04

we're back for another week together of two tired teachers, and we are going to be talking about setting boundaries over the summer. Oh my goodness. But like not just over the summer, into the school year too. Absolutely. Right, yes. Setting boundaries, period, but we're just talking about it because it is over the summer. And you can kind of start with that because don't you feel like sometimes we go into the summer and we don't set those boundaries?

SPEAKER_02 3:34

Yeah, I think if you could set clear boundaries now, you'll be able to carry them into the school year or at least make a note somewhere, like in a planner, like I'm not going, these are the things I'm not gonna do this school year, or whatever it is. And if you're practicing them in the summer, it's a little easier to keep them in the new year, too.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

I agree. Plus, I feel like I was really guilty of not setting boundaries for myself over the summer, and I would work a lot over the summer.

SPEAKER_02 4:04

Oh, yeah. I remember one time having a conversation with a principal of mine, and she was like, When was the last time you just enjoyed your summer break? Like you didn't do school. And I remember thinking that that was the most preposterous thing someone could ask me. Like, why would I enjoy my summer break? I have to get ready for the new school year.

SPEAKER_03 4:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:24

But in hindsight, I realized that's actually very toxic that I was doing to myself. And I should have given myself a break, but I just had really big dreams for myself and what I wanted to do, and that meant working all the time, which I think is a misconception that we need to debunk.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

I agree, I totally agree. And I think that you just said something really important. Like, first of all, it's unbelievable that you had a principal that asked that because I don't think that is a common. I think like in my school, it was kind of a badge of honor that you were there all summer long working. And I think that it shouldn't be. I agree. I think it is toxic. And I when I look back on on my long career, I think about I think about how much I missed with my kids and how I was avoiding my life.

SPEAKER_02 5:20

Like I was avoiding being oh man, that could be its own episode because I 100% agree. A lot of my workaholic tactics were because I didn't want to deal with things that were either happening at home or even within the school environment. So I would just like really lean into like being in my classroom, and it was just kind of like a way to avoid the bigger picture, which is truly unhealthy. And now, like I can see the error of my way and how pushing it down never put it away. It just made it worse instead of confronting it head on.

SPEAKER_01 5:54

So yeah, I totally, yeah, I totally agree. That's a oh, that's a that could be a big one.

SPEAKER_02 6:00

Yeah,

Toxic Work Culture And Workaholism

SPEAKER_02 6:01

all right. So, what so what do we do? All right, so I'm thinking boundaries. Let's be very clear on what that's gonna be. So, boundaries are things that we're gonna say no to. We're setting up kind of like a wall, almost like a boundary that we're gonna say this isn't gonna be crossed anymore. I think as teachers and as women, we tend to have looser boundaries because we come from a nurturer. And that I know that's very like stereotypical, like not every woman is nurturing, but I just think it's naturally our nature. If you're a teacher, even men, male to you're you're going in because you're a nurturer by nature. And when you're a nurturer, you tend to give more of yourself than you really should. And I think that that's where we see the teacher burnout that we're seeing right now, especially it's like an unprecedented amount because teachers have been literally pouring and pouring and pouring into education, and it's very little is being poured back. And we can't, as teachers, keep thinking that someone's gonna pour into us because that's not their responsibility. It's our responsibility to stop the pouring and pour back into ourselves. But to stop pouring, we need to have clear boundaries that allow us to rest, relax, and reset. Um, because that's the only way that we are gonna have sustainable teaching careers or teachers who are in teaching longer than five years, right? Isn't that a statistic? That is most teachers quite within the first five years. I'm telling you right now, when I was a fifth-year teacher, I could see why.

SPEAKER_01 7:31

Oh, me too. Me too, totally. And and I think that my daughter said this and she was on the podcast. She talked about not being able to pour from an empty cup. Oh, yeah. So she's like, you know, and I thought that was such a good what what episode was that that she was on?

SPEAKER_02 7:48

That was on not to put you on the spot, but I know I don't just think it like, let's plug that episode.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

Yeah, all right. Well, I'll let me I'll find it.

SPEAKER_02 7:58

Do you want me to tap the mic so that you know to like delete out that part?

SPEAKER_01 8:01

Or I'm just not gonna worry about it. Okay, yeah, it doesn't have to be perfect. It's an episode that I will link to in the show notes.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

That sounds like a great episode to listen to, like, especially if you're really enjoying what we're talking about on this one. That might be a good one to follow up on or to start with that one, come into this one, whatever. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

All right, so okay. So, what are some boundaries that you think are are really necessary for teachers to oh man, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:30

Okay, you want me to go first? So I'll start first.

Time Off That You Actually Keep

SPEAKER_02 8:33

I girl, I've got a list, okay, and I know you're gonna have some thoughts. Yes, I do. I have thoughts so I think that teachers need to set clear work boundaries, and that includes taking time off when they need time off. And I know this one is hard because this one gets tricky, right? Okay, because like I'm the person who worked on Christmas break because I wanted to feel prepared coming back, and I do think you as a person have to evaluate like the risk and reward, right? If I decide to take all two weeks off, will I still feel good going back? Only you can set that boundary, but I do think it's important to set aside time that you will be completely disengaged from work, whether that's I will always have, you know, I will try to get my work done before I go on break and I will just enjoy that break. I'm not sure because I feel like it's different for everyone.

SPEAKER_01 9:27

I do too. I think it's different for everyone, but I think it's a good point to make. And I also think I think when people tell themselves, because this is what I'm thinking when you were saying that, but I like working, it makes me happy. I enjoy it. And you tell yourself that because maybe you do you do feel that way. Yeah, however, I I think it's really important for you to figure out other aspects of who you are, and it you aren't just this one thing, yeah. You're not just a teacher, yes. There's you're an there, you might be a daughter or a friend or a mom, mother, or a yes, a wife. There's other aspects of who you are, and if you only are focused on that one thing, I don't think that's healthy. I I do it myself still. I'm like, oh yeah, I enjoy working, I don't just want to keep working, but no, it's not it's not good for you. And also it I think it's like I my friend says this that we need to let children practice being bored. And I'm and I'm like, I think that's true for us too, because sometimes it's so true. We don't want to be bored. We don't want to be bored or on our phone or on social media. It can't, I can't even stand in a line to get my prescription filled without getting on social media. I'm like, can I not just stand here and be bored? Your mind has to think of things, and you can that's sometimes where creative ideas come from. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:46

Well, that's why meditation is so big, right? Absolutely to take time to do mindful work and do meditation. Man, we could do a whole episode on like mindful practices for the classroom. Yes, yes, because from like yes, from what I'm reading about that, and like the how it helps you regulate your system better, like your nervous system. Because the truth is, is everyone that lived through the pandemic has a dysregulated nervous system right now. It's just the way it happened. Adults, children, everyone, whether you were truly affected or not, everyone does.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

So that could be a whole other episode. It could, yeah. I'm gonna write it down because I think it would be really helpful. I used to seriously do yoga with my students in my classroom a complete game changer. Yes, you kind of forget about some of these things, so yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 11:33

Yes, go ahead. Oh, we have to talk more about that because I think there's just it's so undervalued. Um, so yeah, set clear work boundaries, and that means taking time for yourself on set school holidays. Um, and like I said, I think that's a personal choice on how much of that time, but then be true to yourself if you say I'm going to take Sunday through Saturday off, and I'm only going to work again that Sunday night. Keep that promise to yourself that you'll only work during that set time. And I think that's huge too, is keeping a promise to yourself and repeating to yourself that you're worth the promise, right? Like we would never tell our students, like, we're, you know, we're gonna do this thing, like and promise them they're gonna and then not do it. Like you would be so mortified if you didn't keep a promise to your kids, right? But we don't treat ourselves ourselves that way.

SPEAKER_01 12:22

No, we don't we make promises to ourselves and break them all the time, which is so unhealthy because you should be able to trust yourself. So when you don't push it to another limit and then tell yourself, oh, it'll just be a little bit longer, a little bit longer. Set that boundary, set that time. If you have to set a time, I think that's good. I think that's true even for the summer. Like I'm gonna take all of June off. I'm gonna let myself start thinking about school after the fourth of July week.

SPEAKER_02 12:51

Yeah, and well, and I think too, if you have the time set aside to know when you that's when I'm gonna work on that, you don't feel so bad for taking the you can truly enjoy the time off, yeah, right? Like you truly enjoy all of June or whatever you're set, you truly can enjoy it because you know it's okay. I'm not gonna be the behind because I have this set time to do it. And if your mind goes to start wandering, like I get anxiety about school, especially back to school, because there's so much that happens. I found keeping a notebook of like school ideas so that when I was in my like time off time, I could write them down and feel like they're out of my head instead of like, well, I'm gonna forget if I don't do it right now, if I don't make this thing right now, I'm gonna forget. Well, no, I'm gonna set it here, and when I'm ready, I can do it.

SPEAKER_01 13:39

I think that that's a great idea because that was what I was I was just gonna say. If you don't have that notebook, if you don't have that place to like get it out of your head, you're gonna feel like, at least for people like me who have ADD, you're gonna forget. You're gonna feel like you're gonna forget. And then your brain starts getting frustrated because you're like, I'm not, I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to remember this. Where what do I do with this? So having a space, like a a place, well, not a dump, a dump site. What's the word I'm looking for? Um a brain dump. Yes, like yeah, like a break, a place to break to dump your brain, and then you could just move on. You know, you're gonna take care of this during the time that you set.

SPEAKER_02 14:14

I think that's and then when it comes that time, you're not like, wait, what was I supposed to work on? You can open either open back up that notebook or in your notes app, or if you do Google keep, putting you know, looking at your summer list of things that you wanted to work on. Because I do think there has to be a balance, especially in teaching where there's so much expected us from the school year. Some things do have to come during the summertime, not much, but some.

SPEAKER_03 14:38

Yes.

No Grading At Home Systems

SPEAKER_02 14:39

Um, another clear boundary is like, oh man, no grading work at home. What do you think of that?

SPEAKER_01 14:47

No, I think that's perfect. I think that's great. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 14:51

Can I tell you I'm a recovering working, like grading at home alcohol, like alcoholic? Like, can I I used to bring every Friday night all my grading from the week home and I would sit on the couch with my husband and I would mark and mark and mark all that's all we would do. We would sit and I would mark for hours on the couches. We would watch TV. And honestly, I wasn't really relaxing, and I also wasn't really marking that well, but like I didn't know when else to do it.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

Yeah, and you're also taking that time that in present being present with your spouse, taking that time, and you're not present with either one of those things. No, no, I think that that is yeah. I can and ask, tell me if you're if you've ever done this because I feel still guilty. Taking stacks of papers home, thinking I'm gonna greet them, and then not being able to, and then throwing throwing them in the trash.

SPEAKER_02 15:45

Trina, you're not supposed to tell the the folk that we throw things away.

SPEAKER_01 15:52

I sometimes I had to because I got overwhelmed, it was so overwhelming. I didn't know. Plenty of things were filed away in the circular book in my career. And many were just given a check.

SPEAKER_02 16:03

Like I wanted them to looked over it, and then actually, do not undervalue the like using a check mark. I feel like that is a great way to say I've reviewed, but this was not for a grade. Like we spot checked it. That's enough. I actually did a lot of check, check pluses, uh-huh. And that was from it's funny because like I never saw an actual teacher do it, but when I was in my senior internship as a teacher, I would I did kindergarten and that's how they graded back then. And they just did you had a check, a check plus, or like a zero with a line, and that was basically like I know, right? And the zero with a line was like you didn't get enough right to like you're still like practicing, like they didn't give F's or anything, but I used that even when I taught fifth grade because it really worked, it was just a quick, easy way to do that.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

Yes, it's just a quick check. But I learned to do that smarter, like I used exit tickets, which I felt like were so much smarter. Oh, and yes, even did I thought this was genius. My friend told me to do this. Like, she would have kids literally come with their math book and they would do like three or four problems, enough for you to know if they got it or not. And then you would they would just come, you'd check, check, check, check, check. And you were putting you could even do a little well. I was doing standards-based assessment, so this might be different for yeah. I remember a standard-based assessment or a grade, but I but it was like, okay, I'm done. I did it at school, like we did it at school, and also you're gonna make immediate feedback, which immediate, yes, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 17:33

So I'm gonna one more thing about this, and then we got to move on in our list. But I will say, marking as much as I could at school, I felt like such a more effective teacher. A practice that I started probably my third year, because I got tired of taking home reading tests every week, was literally like after my students finished their reading test for the week, because in my district they would um have a reading test every week. I would grade it right in front of them as they sat there. All they would do to tell me they were done was go get a book. And then if they were done, I would come over with my little smelly marker and I would mark it in front of them. The best thing I could have ever done because I was able to talk to my students about why their answers were incorrect. I was also able, because this is second grade, beginning of the year, especially at the beginning of the year, where they would miss some and I'd be like, You didn't mark an answer here. Let's be careful because of like that would be wrong. But I'm here and I can tell you to go back and let me know when you're not anyway. But like to be able to provide that feedback, like how I'm gonna go back into the text and find this answer. Look how I'm gonna look for this keyword. Listen when I read this question. What are they asking? So powerful. By the end of the year, the conversation was much smaller, much less, and the grades were much better. Because I literally was teaching like test taking skills, uh-huh, but not like we're not changing the grade. Like, I'm not gonna be like, Oh, you didn't mean to no, we weren't changing the grade. The grade was still the grade, but I'm teaching how to like do a better grade. I loved that. And yeah, no, that's great. Bonus, no grading at home.

SPEAKER_01 19:04

Yep, no grading at home, which is the whole point of that.

unknown 19:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

Another boundary.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

Okay, yep. Go ahead. No, go ahead. Go ahead. I was just gonna um summarize what you just said, setting work boundaries and then clear times and then no work or grading at home. Okay, I'm ready. No grading at home.

Leave On Time Without Falling Behind

SPEAKER_02 19:23

Another one is limiting the number of hours you're spending at work, right? I think like the joke is like you you're the last car in the parking lot, you know. And I remember like there was a school that I used to teach at where it was the norm for most teachers to stay three, four hours after school. Yeah, even though school would end at like 2:30, teachers would still be there till five or six at night, and that was like the norm. Yes. And then I transferred to a different school, and the norm for them was to leave right at 2:30.

unknown 19:56

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 19:57

So and I was like, How are you getting anything done though? Like, so I realized I had to find the space between those because leaving at 2:30 didn't work for me as a teacher. Like I was stressed because I wasn't getting my I needed time to lesson plan, I need a time because I didn't want to take work home. Yeah, so I kind of found like if I just said I'm going to leave at three o'clock every day of the week, except for on Thursdays, Thursdays is my late day. I stay till four. And then once I kept that boundary, it was so much easier to work that and find the time to like get your stuff done.

SPEAKER_01 20:32

Yes, no, I totally agree. I had we had a my friend and I did this like we did like a barter with each other. It would be one day a week. We would I would stay late until however long I needed. She would take all of our kids, her kids and my kids. She would take them to the playground. Yes, feed them, and then I would come, yeah, I would come pick them up and take them home, ready to get ready for bed. That was great. That was the one extra day I needed. Then I would do the same thing for her. I'd pick up all of our kids, take them to the playground, feed them again, and they would be ready to go with her. It was it saved me in my early children, like my children's early time of their life.

SPEAKER_02 21:11

Well, and I think as a mom, it's so hard because your kids, especially if your kids are at school with you, you feel the pressure of having to leave, but then like you know you're not going to get it done when you get home because there's sports and dinner and you know, recycles and all the things that kids have because like they have their own lives outside of your life, and oh darn it. Oh, you're right.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

It's a lot, it's so much, and I think there's different seasons of your life, too. Oh, yeah. Like I I know exactly what you're talking about. It was the norm at my school too to stay there forever, and like we kind of judged, which this is a problem. We kind of judged teach veteran teachers that left who would leave, right?

SPEAKER_02 21:51

I remember, I remember seeing one time a teacher leave at it. Our contracted hours were 7 30 to 2 30. And I remember watching that teacher walk down at like 225 and go sign out at 230 and watching, and I was thinking, oh, and yes, now I laugh at myself because I should have been begging her to tell me her secrets.

SPEAKER_01 22:16

I totally agree. But we we don't we think we were so trained in that scarcity, like judgmental kind of mentality that we we hurt each other and like don't judge, be happy that they get to they're leaving on time and beg them to tell you their secrets so that you can getting work done at work, and it's also well, and like I said, when I transferred to that other school and then college to leave at 2:30, completely different school culture.

SPEAKER_02 22:42

And I'm gonna tell you, great teachers there too. So staying late does not make you a better teacher, it just makes you like spend more time and be more burnt out. So choose if you need, I would just choose one day a week, that's your late day, and that's when you do like the heavy hitting or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 22:59

I or work at work, you could come in early as a instead because I love that you bring that up. I was fried at the end of the day, like my brain, I wasn't even being efficient, so I was taking two to three times longer to do a task that if I had done early in the morning would have been done in 20 minutes. So I and I didn't, I wasn't able to to do go earlier when I had little kids because it was just hard getting them. I mean, one day we drove to school and my son didn't have on shoes. So I was like, I gotta turn around. I'm gonna be in my car right now. It sounds like me driving my kids to daycare. I'm like, what do you mean you don't have on shoes? How are you in the car without shoes? I had to put like a visual chart on the back of our of the garage door, like on the door from the garage to the house that had like backpack, you know, a picture of his shoes, a picture of his lunchbox, so he would remember these things. It drove me crazy. Anyway, I couldn't get there early to save my life. But when my kids got older, I'm like, oh, I actually can get there. That is the best time to be there because nobody's there. And it's yes, okay.

SPEAKER_02 24:07

It's okay. So I'm like you, mornings were are definitely a struggle. But when I recently stepped back in the classroom last year to do a maternity leave, I was blessed to be at a school that had so like the district I'm in now does like um you're either an early start school or a late start school. You work the same hours, but it's just depends on whether your planning time is either in the morning or in the afternoon. So at this school, their planning was in the morning. Trina, it was amazing. I never had to stay late ever. You know why? Because I literally like the kids didn't start until like 8:40. So you're so I could get there at like 7:15. My contracted hours weren't until 7:30. Like I could get there as early as I can, and I literally had the entire morning to lesson plan, to mark grades, to get things set up. It was so I never felt so prepared to teach as I did with that. And I was like, they should do this for every school. I there would be meetings in the morning, but you didn't feel frazzled because like you were fresh, right? Like you weren't like, oh my gosh, I just had such an exhausting day and now I'm no, and then the expectation, crazy enough, was that when the buses left and all like by like we were done at like 3 15 or whatever, that was you left. Like literally, teachers would come with their bags, and the principal would be like, bye, and watch them off. And it was the expectation that and if you went back to your classroom, you were kind of like, Oh, why no, you know, but like it was amazing. I think that and it also allowed you to be late unnoticed.

SPEAKER_01 25:48

I would just yes, that's true. And some people would do that, but um, I think that that has to fall. I think some of that can be the administrator. Oh, yeah, you could make that, yeah, it's time to leave. Okay, everybody, it's time to go. Although I guess it would stress some people out. All right. So, so did you cover your boundaries? Do you have more in your list? I have

Saying No To Extra Roles

SPEAKER_01 26:08

one. Well, I have two more. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 26:09

So I think a next boundary, and obviously you can throw in any that if I'm not saying one that you're really thinking of, but I think another boundary could be saying no to being on like every committee or doing every after school club because you know that there's those teachers out there that are, you know, the PTA liaison and they're the you know, grade chair, and they're also the the you know in the master schedule committee and on this and that. And I think like although it's all well and good, and you feel like you're really supporting and helping your school, in the end, you could feel very burnt out because I've been there, you know.

SPEAKER_01 26:46

Yes, yeah, me too. Years of being a team leader. I uh I didn't even have a master schedule committee, but that would have been a smart committee to have. But anyway, I totally I think that is yes, I think you have to remember. I just wrote this actually recently to my TDTL listies. I talked about if you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else. Yes. Every time you say yes, you need to think, what am I saying no to? Am I saying no to my to my kids? Am I saying no to my husband? Am I saying no to myself, you know, my mom, my friend, what am I saying no to? Because something is gonna be no.

SPEAKER_02 27:21

Yeah. And it might be something that you should have been saying yes to because that would fulfill you more.

SPEAKER_01 27:26

Absolutely. And yes, and I I think this is a problem for me. And I I've told my audience that I uh, you know, now I'm divorced, it's been like almost eight years now. But one thing that I do kind of regret, like the part where I take ownership, is that he used to say, Well, I'll just have you know, your bot your principal Mike, his name is Mike. I'll just have I'll just ask Mike and he'll ask you to do it and then you'll do it. Isn't that terrible? So he actually thought the only way he could get me to do something was if my principal said. So I would say yes, yes, yes, yes to him. And I would, yeah. That's that's not a good thing. So you were saying no to your husband. I was saying no to my yes, to my husband, to my family.

SPEAKER_02 28:06

So yeah, see, like that can't be the norm. We need to like normalize saying no, because it means you'll have to say, if you say yes, you're having to say no to something else. So giving yourself time, even if that looks like just saying, I'm not sure, let me really think about that. I'll get back to you. Because you know, like when your principal is like I the culture I always was at at schools is basically like your principal was your like is your boss, obviously, but like whatever if your principal's coming to you, you have to say yes. Like it wasn't really like them asking, it was more like an ask tell. Yeah. So it was just more of like, oh, your principal asked you to do that, you have to say yes. But I think it's okay to say no and to and to be okay with that. But if that means taking time, because I'm a yes person by nature, like I want to like do everything. Um, so I think it's okay to take me too, but I'm recovering.

SPEAKER_01 28:59

I'm a right recovery. I think because we all need to be recovering. It wasn't that way at the end, like my last year. I I left on time. I said no, actually said no to things. Like one time they wanted me to cover a class when I was like, No, I can't. Yeah, obviously they could make me, but I'm like, I I have plans. I have I have book club, I've got you know, read in classrooms, I've got this, this, and this. And they and they're like, Okay, like they didn't know what to do with the fact that I said no. And I'm oh I know, I know that. Well, I wasn't.

SPEAKER_02 29:29

But that's a mind shift, I think, that like administration needs to make too that teachers are allowed to say no. Yes, because I will say there were plenty of times where my principal is like, I need you to head up a book study, I need you to get and I should have said no, but I didn't. And I think if I would have just maybe even if I can't say no in the in the moment, saying something like, Let me think about it and I'll email you. I really think that's good.

SPEAKER_01 29:50

I think I could have probably gotten I could have gotten better if I had some time to think about it.

SPEAKER_02 29:54

Yeah, well, and then because like I said, you want to say yes, but then it allows you to kind of process that choice too.

SPEAKER_01 30:00

Like, okay, because you can't reintegrate in that moment a lot of times. Yeah, all right, last one.

SPEAKER_02 30:06

The last one, unless you have more.

SPEAKER_01 30:09

If you have more, no, no, you've these are great.

SPEAKER_02 30:12

I think the last easy boundary, and that the last boundary you can set as a teacher, and this one to me is easy.

SPEAKER_01 30:18

Oh, I did think of one. Okay, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 30:20

Okay, do you want to say it before I say this one? Okay, okay.

Delete School Email From Your Phone

SPEAKER_02 30:24

This one is deleting your school email off your phone. I'm gonna re-rewind it. I'm gonna repeat it again so that you could come back to me if you were like another thing. Yeah, okay, deleting your school email off of your personal phone. There is no reason why you should have your school email on your phone. And the crazy thing is, Trina, I didn't know when this became a norm. I didn't realize this was a real thing until I was at teaching um at my son's school, and they all were out at recess one time and they were all talking about this email they got, and they were showing it to me on their phone. Yeah, and they're like, Oh, you didn't get the email. And I'm like, I don't know, I'm sitting here at recess, like, I gotta go check my computer. All of them had it on their phone, yes, and I realized this is a very normal thing. You're right, except for it shouldn't be. Number one, it shouldn't. The district doesn't pay for your phone. So, unless the district provides you your cell phone, you shouldn't have your email on it. You're right.

SPEAKER_01 31:33

There obviously, there are reasons like if you're a traveling teacher, like you don't have a home base, it's a little bit different, but you can still they can, I mean, there's still texting available.

SPEAKER_02 31:43

So I think there's I think it's a little bit or or have an iPad that's like the school's iPad that's designated. There, there's just so many legality problems with having your email on your phone, too, because if something got subpoenaed, your emails are public record because your phone you're right, your phone can get like taken. It's your personal thing, they can take it.

SPEAKER_01 32:03

So it's just you don't need that drama in your life, you just don't stressful, and then you have to see all those re freaking reply all, and then nobody hits reply to sender, and so then you get 25 responses to one.

SPEAKER_02 32:17

Yeah, um that parent email to you that you go to check your email just to see if like your principal replied to you on a question about book supplies or whatever, and then you see that one parent emailed you like now you've just ruined your evening because you're thinking about something that you really shouldn't have been thinking about in that moment.

SPEAKER_01 32:35

They should not have access to you for 24 hours a day. It's not oh yeah now seven. Yeah, I agree, I agree, I think that's a huge one.

Basic Needs And The Bathroom Story

SPEAKER_01 32:42

I was gonna say to make sure to eat. Like sometimes I think that's an important boundary. It has been for me. I I didn't realize I had blood sugar issues. I don't think they were as bad when I was younger. It's it has gotten worse. And if I don't eat, I get really like shaky and grouchy, extremely grouchy. I don't think things wrap through rationally sometimes. I don't think that's the best interest for my kids. It's definitely not for me.

SPEAKER_02 33:08

Well, and I think this is just the problem of a greater taking care of your needs, yeah, drinking water. I think as teachers do the same with like, yeah, we don't we don't drink water because we don't want to go to the bathroom because you have a limited access to the bathroom, right? Right. You get to pee twice a day, lunch and break, you know. And if you're lucky, you have a teacher next door who will watch your class if you have to go. But like it's true, we don't take care of our basic human needs because we're so stressed out about like getting in trouble. We're limited.

SPEAKER_01 33:39

But I actually trained my kids, I trained them how I mean we had a procedure for me to go to the bathroom because I had I had two bathrooms in my classroom and I didn't make them boys and girls, I made them mine and the students. Oh, I love that. So mine was all fancy and you know, whatever. And I trained them because I and I told them I'm like they can go to the bathroom whenever they want, like they were allowed to get up and go as long as I wasn't in the middle of teaching something. But if they were having an emergency, even then they were. And I'm like, I let you, I need you to do give me the same respect and care.

SPEAKER_02 34:12

I love that. I have a funny whenever I want. Can I tell you a funny bathroom story? So when I was teaching fifth grade, which if there's a grade that you should be able to leave alone for five seconds so that you can use the restroom, it should be fifth grade. So I was teaching fifth grade and it was the beginning of the year, and I had a it was my morning class, they were great, and I was having a bathroom emergency. The fifth grade room was like a concreteable, which is different than a portable. Basically, I didn't I had neighbors, but they weren't like it wasn't like a teacher could just stand at my door. Like I would have had to go interrupt, like it was a whole thing. The other option is I could have called up to the office. The office was like literally a 20-minute hike on the other side of school. It was like the furthest point from the office. So, and I'm like, dude, I just gotta go like five seconds. Yes, no big deal. I didn't even make a big announcement about it. I just hopped in there, I did my business, I washed my hands. You can hear the kids in the bathroom. I come out and I noticed when I was in the bathroom, it got really quiet, and I just thought, no big deal. I come out and there's the administrator standing there. Oh man, looking at me. And I thought, well, this is it. I'm gonna get fired. And she goes, I was wondering if there was a teacher in here today. And I go, I'm sorry, I had to use the restroom. She goes, No, it's okay, I understand. She's like, Your kids were great, they were just working on their thing. Like, so she kind of like made a joke about it, but I'm gonna tell you like, how sad is it?

SPEAKER_01 35:47

I literally thought I'm being I'm gonna be fired because I guess because you're like, I've left a room of children unsupervised. You do, yes, and meeting even though I could hear them, the bathroom was in the classroom. I could hear them. Me too, and that's me too. And I'm like, I can get to them in like 60 seconds at the most. Less than I mean at the most, yes.

SPEAKER_02 36:07

I just I was gonna like pee my pants.

SPEAKER_01 36:09

Like I had to, and you know, sometimes you just have to. So I really I think we we make it well, we function around fear. That's part of the problem. All right, so those are some really, some really great just yes.

One Boundary To Take Forward

SPEAKER_02 36:22

I want really the takeaway today is just setting clear boundaries. They can start over the summer, right? Deleting the email off the phone is something they can do right now. Literally, take out your phone, find your email app, press it so it like jiggles, and then swipe it to the trash can. You do not need that, and do not even come at me with like, but I need it over the summer. You do not, you can turn on your computer and go on, and you can check it out. That's such an easy boundary at the moment. I'm sorry, my cat. What is that?

SPEAKER_01 36:52

All right, I said you can check it once a week and that's it. Like that needs to be another boundary because you don't you're they can't have access to you for that all that time. This is your time, you're actually not getting paid for that. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 37:04

Teachers don't get paid over the summer, they think they, but you don't actually get paid over the summer, so you should not be answering emails for free. I like obviously, if like something happens and your principal needs to get in touch with you, they can call you, like they have your phone number.

SPEAKER_01 37:17

Yes, they do. There is a we'll probably have an emergency chain.

SPEAKER_02 37:21

Yeah, probably have a exactly and I have a blog post that outlines like why you should delete your email off your phone and how that can reduce burnout. Um, appoliticious teacher.com and it's like one minute action to reduce teacher burnout is the post. So they can we link that in the show notes.

SPEAKER_01 37:39

Absolutely, let's link it in the show notes so people can read that. That's really helpful. Sometimes we need to see those kind of things in writing too.

SPEAKER_02 37:45

Yeah. So, all right, let's end this with the one thing if a teacher were to walk away from this episode that they could do to help with teacher burnout, like or to set a boundary this school year, what would you say? Like the one thing of they because we talked about a lot.

SPEAKER_01 38:01

We really could choose just one. There's so many, there's so many things. I'm gonna say work at work.

SPEAKER_02 38:10

Oh, I like that one. Work at work, work at work and relax at home. I'm gonna say deleting the email because I that's a passion.

SPEAKER_01 38:19

That was a tie. Uh that was a one that was I was tied in my head. I'm like, I didn't think I all right. Well, we will wrap this episode up and we will see you next week. So, sweet dreams and sleep tight for you. Yes, two tired teachers signing off.